I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Fuck appropriateness.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
