My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I will be naked everywhere
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
