did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
