Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
