she woke up with a sticky ear
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm bleeding and have questions
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
