If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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