if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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