How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
