You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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