before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He? As in you personified your dick?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
