hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
