The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
