another moral hangover. fuck.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
