So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
