glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You can't special order awesome
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
