Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
