I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
there is puke in my bra ... again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
