OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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