Will you blow on my dice?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
