No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
