I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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