so that wasnt chicken after all
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
