Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
