there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How's work?
Spinning.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
