Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize