i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
