the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
