oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
