oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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