Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
