Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My breasts were aching with rage.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
