I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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