my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize