Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
