I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
