I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
