If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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