8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
