I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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