just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
