At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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