I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
