Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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