he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
