I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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