I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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