my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
