She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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