Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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