yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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