doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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