now i know why i became what i already was.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my shit smells like andre
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
