well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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