physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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