It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
