hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
