pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
