I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
