And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
