$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize