My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
