I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Can I color on your dick again?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
