you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Come on in and take your pants off
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